“A thrill of hope, the
weary world rejoices.” I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this
phrase over my life. Especially during the Christmas season. It seems like a
line in a song that gets sung and lost in the build up of a chorus.
To be honest, I’ve never really thought much of this line
until my wife, Kaitlyn, artfully wrote it on a chalkboard on our fireplace. How
true it is now.
One year ago this Christmas season was one of the most difficult
times of my life. Newly married of 3 months, I dealt with the first loss of
someone so close to me, my grandpa to cancer, 2 days after my mom had a 6-pound
tumor removed from her stomach with the fear of it spreading throughout her
body, unhappiness with the “real-world” and questions of is this what my life
is supposed to be like. I found it very hard be joyous during Christmas. I fell
victim to the motions of Christmas season just trying to scrape by. Jesus’
birth was an afterthought. I was foolish.
I remember a conversation with Kaitlyn a few weeks after my grandfather
passed away that we hadn’t listened to Christmas music or any Christian music for
that matter. I don’t know if I was mad at God because of all the pain I was
going through with the uncertainty of what tomorrow would bring or I was just
too exhausted and preoccupied with trying to please myself that I didn’t have
time for Him.
Marriage was exhausting, work was exhausting, sickness was
exhausting, and I didn’t have much hope of getting out of this rut. In January,
Kaitlyn and I sat down, most likely after an argument where I yelled a lot, and
we decided we were done and let’s start over. Let’s pick up and move, quit our
jobs and move back to Missouri and be closer to family, because family is all
we need. That night I prayed to God more than I have prayed in years. I told God that this is what we were doing
because we needed family and happiness back in our life. I had a job lined out
where I was going to make a decent amount of money and I would get my MBA at a
school in Springfield and Kaitlyn would find something and we’d be happy. Right
before I was to put in my two weeks at my job God had a different plan. I was
offered a position at a great growing company in NWA out of nowhere. God told
me take it, and to stay. Telling Kaitlyn we would stay in Arkansas and I was going
to take this job was one of the hardest conversations we would have. I broke
her heart because we were so emotionally exhausted all we wanted to do was run
away from here, she didn’t understand, but trusted me as her husband. To make
it fair to her, I told Kaitlyn she could leave her job, and we would figure out
something for her that would bring her happiness. 4 weeks later I was at a
lesser paying job that had potential, and Kaitlyn was unemployed. My mom called
and at her 1 month check up she was cleared of all cancer. She was healed. Kaitlyn
got an e-mail from our church saying they needed host homes for small groups,
and we started praying about that. 2 months in to my job I got a promotion.
Things were falling into place, not in the way I told God they were going to
fall into place but in how He wanted them. God was at work in the Snelson
homestead. We were happy.
It was very apparent that God was blessing us. Kaitlyn and I
knew that we had to give Him the credit. I spent several years running from God
and His voice, it sounds cliché, but I was tired of running. It was no longer
about me. We needed to live it out, all for Him. Kaitlyn and I decided to open
our home as a host home for a small group and I was asked to lead. We have not
been more blessed to share our struggles with two other amazing young married
couples and the hope that God gives us. My faith has grown, my marriage has
grown, and I have grown.
On July 3rd, Kaitlyn shared the best news I could
ever hear. I was going to be a Daddy. In those few seconds after Kaitlyn told
me no panic went through me like I thought would happen. God gave me such a
beautiful peace, He had chosen US to be parents. It is amazing to see where we
have come from in our one year of marriage. We have placed our hope and trust
in God, I no longer try to tell God what I’m doing. I listen for Him to tell me
where to go, and where to take my new little family.
This Christmas is different; there is a joy and faith in the
Snelson home greater than we have ever had. I fall asleep every night watching
Harlow Robin dance around in her mommy’s tummy. I wake up every morning giving
God the glory looking at those words Kaitlyn wrote on the chalkboard on the
fireplace; it has quickly become my favorite decoration in the whole house. Life
can be cruel and messy, but there is Hope. Don’t get lost in life and overlook
the real reason for hope even when you can’t see it. There will be a time of
rejoicing coming if you put your trust in Him. Why worry, when He already has
it figured out. It really is thrilling.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world
rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
How true it is.
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